What do you think of this new Harry Potter storyline?

The story would begin with Harry taking a huge dump in his toilet. While taking a dump, an obeise fairy pops out of the toilet propelling Harry across the floor hitting his head on the door knob. After Harry recovers, the fairy tells him about a plot by a powerful but effeminate wizard named Olenstorf to turn Hogwarts into an evil sweathshop. This sweatshop will make products that introduce mindcontrol magic into the lives of the peaceful non-magic citizens (muds?). His overall plan is to control the entire world by spreading his mindcontrol magic through these products. The trio battle through swamps and illusions that baffle and confuse them. One of Harry's illusions was about Hermoine and that red haired guy they are best friends with. In this illusion the two of them were getting fresh with each other causing Harry to have an unresolved issue with his 2nd wand. Harry becomes conflicted with his inner lust of Hermoine and his friendship with redhaired guy. This conflict nearly cost him both their lives as the plan to turn Hogwarts into a factory of mindcontrolling magics nearly reaches completion. Harry Potter finally releases himself from his Hermoine issue and defeats the effeminate wizard and wins the day.